Archive for the ‘Religion’ Tag

Honor Killing of Love   Leave a comment

Today’s Mumbai Mirror says

Honour killing: couple stoned to death in AP

A young couple who got married four months ago, was stoned to death in Nizamabad district of Telangana region in Andhra Pradesh. The bodies of 32-year-old dalit youth Sunkara Srinivas and upper caste girl Swapna Reddy, 22, were found late on Wednesday evening. The angry villagers of Krishnajivadi in Tadwai mandal (block) tied the couple to an electric pole in the village centre and rained stones on them on Wednesday evening………..“The couple died of stone injuries”, said the police. They have taken three persons into custody. Police have been deployed as tension prevailed in the village.

I so much like that debut Black eyed peas song and like every one… it is me asking : WHERE IS THE LOVE? THE LOVE, THE LOVE, THE LOVE?

I just heard that Sher Dadaji’s government wanted to take a census highlighting the caste system?

Why what’s struck him? Lightning? After so many years of independence, I guess the Khap panchayat honor killngs led to this idea…

Since he is a puppet, I want to say, instead of having a census based
on caste, why doesn’t he do something about honor killings, killing is
murder, and honor killing is not a righteous one. You don’t kill for
your own self defence in an honour killing-its a crime and deserves
death penalty of the executioners of such a heinous crime.

What, two people can’t fall in love?

WE HAVE A NEW GROWING SPECIES OF TERRORISTS GROWING ALL OVER THE COUNTRY-NOT THE ONES THAT KILL IN THE NAME OF GOD, BUT THESE ARE THE NEW SPECIES.

THEY KILL IN THE NAME OF CASTE.

BEWARE MY FRIENDS, IF YOU ARE IN LOVE, YOU MIGHT GET SLIT BY YOUR OWN PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!

STUPID people of this country BELIEVE the same old ritualistic
barbarian kind of superstitious practices in all aspects of their
life, be it pooja-paath, marriage, girl child, women, just about every
thing……………my list knows no end…

We are called the most tolerant of human race-the Hindus. Are we
tolerant?

We don’t want to tolerate to lovers who married irrespective
of their caste barriers, but we tolerate and even forgive hard-core
criminals walking past us.

Sanjay dutt, salman khan, some of the accused of the 93 riots, where people of different castes died not the way any of us would want – bloody, with limbs scattered . You think Muslims, Christians, Jains, didn’t die?

It’s high time we address other meaningful problems and let the lovers be happy. We are becoming like the barbarian Taliban people, soon,unless we change these worthless rigid beliefs.

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Posted May 28, 2010 by indupress in Indupress

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The Unbelievers   1 comment

“Shokale uthiya ami bhalo mone boli,
Aami jano aaj k bhalo hoye choli,
Aadesh kore ja mor guru jone,
Aami jano shei kaj kori bhalo mone.”

In the hustle-bustle of this busy life we might never get to say a prayer. We are so preoccupied with the tangles that we have bound ourselves with.

And we visit those sacred temples with a firm belief that God would only answer our selfish prayers if we happen to stand in long queues with a fasting stomach since the wee hours to just get one glimpse of our holy deities.

We have been taught from generations to focus upon these beliefs related to God. Where did such beliefs come from?

I guess they have been coming down from the ancient family tree to the present generation. People from all walks of life be it the common man or the super star, they all believe in the calmanac, the shubh mahurat.

Mr. Bachchan with his family visits the holy Siddhivinayak temple and the Tirupati Balaji. Rani Mukherji is a great devotee of the Shirdi Sai Baba. How much does God mean to all of us? Is God pleased with the “chadava” (offering) we offer him in the temples? People all over the world have different perspectives of God.

However in our country India, we have a vast volume of believers. We have believers that believe that God is Shiv Swayambhu which means that he was never created by any one, there are the devotees of Durga and Lakshmi with their different names and avatars that people in different parts of India worship.

Then there are the believers of the Ganapati. Being the son of Shiv and Parvati, Ganesh is worshipped first in any puja to make it more successful and the ancient rituals call for worshipping Ganesh before proceeding with the worship of any other deity.

Then there is a huge following for Vishnu with his various forms and names, some call him Krishna, some call him Narayan, some even Jaggannath and some Ram.

With our country being secular, we also have a great number of Jains, Sikhs, Muslims, Christians, Jews, Buddhists and Parsis. Some call him Allah, some call him Jehovah and yet some call him Ahura Mazda. With a huge population and with varied beliefs, we keep discriminating as to which religion is the best.

But to me all these names are for that One, I might call him with a name I would like to call him by, still he’ll answer me.

The Hindus among themselves believe in one deity and they do not believe in the other deity, though they bow but they don’t pray to the other deity. A Shaivik does not worship Vishnu. They feel that Shiv would be offended. Likewise there are other religions which do not entertain the outsiders, Parsis best suit this category.

Then there are Christians-catholic and the believers. Catholics love Jesus as well as mother Mary and they idol worship them, believers however don’t worship mother Mary and keep their prayers only to God through Jesus. They believe that Jesus gave his life for the whole world and that he was the holy lamb of God, and because of Jesus they’ve come to know God, in other words Jesus is the son of God.

Muslims have the Shia and Sunni variants though I don’t know much about these variants.Jews believe in the old-testament, till before the time Jesus was born. They believe that their messiah is yet to come and Jesus was not their messiah.

With all this confusion and discrimination in the name of religion I hope I did justice to explain the various beliefs of “devout religious human beings”.

They perform different rituals, go on fasting for a month, crawl all the way to temple to sanctify themselves of their sins, but is it really helpful?

In Tamilnadu, there are a group of followers who pierce their cheeks, and let a steel rod pass through it in the name of religion. Isn’t that insane? People still perform animal sacrifices to worship Kali. In the ancient times men were sacrificed for certain rituals for worshipping Kali.

The new trend since couple of decades is that has the “world speaking is about the jihadis aka terrorists, who kill in the name of Allah”. They don’t want to believe that we all that is the entire creation is Allah’s and they have no authority to kill another fellow human on the grounds that we are infidels.

As for me, I feel that God is omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent which means he is everywhere is all-knowing and can do everything. Who are the true infidels then? And who are the true believers then of a God whichever name you may want to call with…

The infidels are those that bribe God so that they may succeed a particular task. Those who are corrupt, stir hatred, liars, cheaters, who preach yet, do not practice what they preach.

God loves those who are honest, loving, kind, helpful, who practice the good old virtues hard to find in these times.

You don’t need several mantras to reach God, you just need a thankful heart. You can pray any where any time and there is someone who is omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent hearing you. He is ever ready to help his true believers.

People say that God punishes, it’s not God that punishes, it is their wrong deeds or the karma.

Why blame God unnecessarily? God gave us the brain and the conscience to know what is right from the wrong, if still for our selfish motives we keep pursuing all that is wrong we will stumble and fall.

What if you decide to walk on a dark road without a torch despite having a torch? It’s foolishness.

Sir Issac Newton had a very interesting theory related to karma, he stated among his works of the law of motion, that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So in case even if you don’t believe in God you ought to believe that you reap what you sow, God is blameless.

All rituals, all fasts and all the self implicated tortures are completely unnecessary.

God knows what’s in your heart, you don’t have to prove him anything. Let us all be truthful in what we think, say and do.Let think, say and do everything in co-ordination. That should be the guiding light for people of every faith.

Posted May 17, 2010 by indupress in Indupress

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It happens, shit happens…….   Leave a comment

Oh now that our dear Bhaarat Mata (or that should be “Mother India”) has embraced the western culture, we do experience a lot of ‘Fusion’ in the urban areas.

‘Fusion’ in respect of the fashion, page 3 parties, cuisine etc. The British came to our country and left behind a lot of memoirs-The Victoria terminal, the Gateway of India, the Bombay High Court etc naming only a few.

Our western counterparts are developed countries with booming economy. They have schools for all children of their country, the latest weapons to secure their nationals, they emphasize on women power and some-how at any cost and any ways, want to rule the world. They are the most civilized of people with “accented” English, and we Indians work here according to their timings in our BPOs.

Since the world is a small place, our western folks come here to experience the country of snake charmers and Naga sadhus and they are entertained more than an Indian brother welcomes his other Indian brother.

They like to see our naked little children defecating on the pavements. They quickly grab their cameras and roll down the windows of their cars to capture that very special moment. They like to see the Indian low life.

Some how we Indians are very welcoming and get fooled easily, there were Vibhishans in our own country and that is what helped the British do the “raaj”.

Hundreds of men were killed in the name of freedom fight and their widows were taken away by the white skinned to be their concubines.

Their mantra was to divide and rule which has been adopted stealthily by all our politicians in the present era too.

Now, most of our politicians have a criminal record and they manage to get that ticket before the elections. Though they never think for the betterment of our nation, they manage to become member of the parliaments – Lok sabha and the Rajya sabha.

There are politicians also who have changed parties like we change our under garments. Apne ko kya karne ka hai? (What we have got to do?) – is their personal slogan.

White is what they are always clad in, yet their hearts are so black. They are corrupt, vulgar and stirrers of violence. They are contradictory, opportunists. They feel the need to walk down the streets and voice a cause just before their elections, fearing the opposition might win. They are most interested about their Gaddi (The coveted Chair)

They stir up differences in the name of religion, caste and the native place of birth. Calling them serpents is an understatement.

Why are they so lazy? We have pot holes and pot holes and then another pot hole. No lights on the connecting highways. No continuous water supply, no uninterrupted electricity.

O one slogan that I feel best suits them is “apna kaam banta, toh ma *&^%^$# janta.” (As long as we are happy, screw the world)

For the sake of winning the polls they get locals to create havoc across the city, public transport comes to a screeching halt and in some cases they are burnt down too.

None can move out of their houses. When these Netas and the Babus come to inaugurate a public place, they manage to be as late as possible given that they own the Gaddi and are in Raaj.

Their convoys take a toll on the traffic, they are given more security than they deserve. They are unimportant public figures and taking a glimpse at them, a lay man might be able to read their faces and say what they really are.

Why are they given so much security? What about us-the mango people … the aam aadmi? (the common man)

We are the pedestrians, the hawkers, the drivers, the students, the teachers, the doctors, the common Indian going about their businesses… – and there comes the boom, the stampede, the stone pelting, the lathi charge, the burning down of buses and trains.

Where does that leave us? During the two and a half day of gun battle and “homicide” on the fateful day of 26/11 we witnessed emotional as well as physical trauma, hundreds were injured and a huge number died too.

What were these politicians doing then? Sipping whiskey and watching the suspense unfold on their 44 inch plasma TV, eating chicken legs, discussing the status with higher party high command of what their position was after the terrorist attacks?

After the terrorist attacks, different people from different embassies had zeroed in on Mumbai to help their respective nationals.

But who were to help us, the Indian nationals?

The police here have no more than their age old service rifles and their pistols which are so old that they may get jammed at opening fire during a combat.

What’s the use of carrying useless Defence weapons if they don’t defend you from the enemy?

But our western “firangi” Police Departments have the latest arms and ammunition, to defend themselves as well as public.

As you know, most of the nations abroad have free education or have very nominal fees. They believe in 100% literacy, that is why their country is much more developed than ours though we have the second largest population in the world. They serve nutritious healthy food as well as milk in their schools.

As for us I read last year, one of the Mumba municipal schools were caught serving old tetrapacked milk way after its last consumption date to their students. My friend remember that late 90s song ‘it happens only in India.’

People abroad have state of the art hospitals and specialists, their medical facilities are way advanced.In fact I feel that on such grounds, India is lacking behind a century to come up to their standards in these areas.

We should only pick up from the others those virtues that would change us for the better.

Blindly aping others will, I feel, take us no further.

Posted May 16, 2010 by indupress in Indupress

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Gandhi’s Kama Shastra   Leave a comment

The other day I was reading an article in most favourite saturday newspaper – TOI Crest – about the father of the nation, and after what I read, I didn’t want to write father starting with a capital ‘f’. he might be deserving it, yet for me, he didn’t. So I found the article online and quote from it.

Here are some excerpts from the article that managed to disturb me. (It is an interview by Neelam Raj in Times of India Crest, of Jad Adams whose new book – ‘Gandhi: Naked Ambition’ has recently released in India)

[The next stage of his life engaging with sexuality was to increase his contact with women and girls, including physical contact. He certainly saw this as behaviour which would help strengthen him spiritually and, thus armed, he would better be able to act in India’s cause…..]

[Gandhi had a normal married life from his teens to his thirties when he decided to be chaste, and finally, in 1906, made a vow which settled the matter. The next phase of his life saw him ordering everyone else to be chaste as well, including newlyweds. At his ashram, men and women were housed separately, yet he encouraged the young to bathe and sleep together. “I sent the boys reputed to be mischievous and the innocent young girls to bathe at the same time,” he boasted, explaining carefully to them they were not to succumb to temptation. If ever they strayed, the vigilant Gandhi himself would adjudicate. He was of the view that people who wanted to fight for the nationalist cause in his service “have to observe perfect chastity, adopt poverty, follow truth and cultivate fearlessness”.]

[It is literally a matter of definition whether Gandhi was chaste or not. If chastity is taken simply to mean no penile penetration of another person, then Gandhi was chaste. If we use the term ‘sexual relations’ to refer only to the act of intercourse, then he did not engage in sexual relations. However, he did frequently put his hands on women, sleep naked with women, bathe with women and take massages from them. Most people would think of these things as sexual.” He took the censure of others over his sexual experiments as a sign that he ought to continue, as a further challenge to his spiritual nature. He explained, “If I stop sleeping together for all time it will mean that I have been mistaken. Otherwise why should I stop it? There is a limit to abstaining from it for the sake of my friends.” He was a very brave and also a very self-confident man.]

[Sleeping with one, then two teenaged girls (Manu, his 18-year-old grandniece, and then Abha, the wife of Gandhi’s grandnephew Kanu Gandhi) was behaviour that continued into 1948, when he was killed. I should mention that the women who gave him service were always willing; there was no shortage of people ready to do whatever Gandhi wanted, without question.]

[“It is the duty of every thoughtful Indian not to marry,” said Gandhi. “In case he is helpless in regard to marriage, he should abstain from sexual intercourse with his wife.” With sex not permissible even for procreation, wouldn’t it have been the end of the world as we know it?]

Now, all the while since I was born till the now, I and my family including my son and my folks have bowed to such a martyr. He was a simpleton who kept emphasizing on the virtue of simple living and high thinking.

He was called the naked fakir by the firangs that ruled us for 200 years, and the title ‘Mahatma’ was ordained to him by ‘thakur’ from the land of the great Ganges – Pandit Rabindranath Tagore – and that is how millions address him even today. I wonder how our kavi guru would feel if he happened to know this Gandhian kama shastra?

What would you and I call a person who is mature, who has a wife, is blessed with kids, is “actually” taking massages and sleeping nude with wives of others?

‘Pervert’ would be an understatement, isn’t it?

Why is there a difference if it is Gandhi? Because he managed to save his own blood and sacrificed the blood of millions of innocents, in the name of his so called Satyagraha and Simon go back movements.

His message an eye for an eye makes the whole nation blind is a slogan that’s by heart of everyone since grade 5.

He had a great deal of security, fan following, and he lured millions with his sweet coated bitter tongue. He was a preacher according to me and he practiced only as much as he could, that is, if he felt he should.

He laid down great examples of the saints and the prophets of the ancient, to argue, but how much did he follow them? I read that he carried the Bible-the word of God for millions of the Christian faith and of course of other faiths also, any one who believes in Jesus knows the word of the new testament by heart. Need less to say, does it look from any angle that he even believed in Jesus? I feel that the bible fell in the wrong hands, in the hands of one who preaches, but doesn’t practice.

The holy bible says-

22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Matthew 5:28 NIV
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Now tell me, why would a man and as elevated as Gandhi want to sleep with his grand-niece and the wife of his grand nephew?

Because of his so called experiments with the truth? Isn’t that ridiculous? A man of his standing, a public figure who had millions of desi as well as videsi devotees?

What difference is there now between a pervert and the pious Gandhi? Is there any difference between a man who puts posters of naked women in his bedroom and the Mahatma?

He loved the idea that he’s being worshiped all over the world, so he decided that he would like to make a preachy bible of his own, in his own words, justifying just about every wrong that he’s doing. It’s like we say that there are people who believe killing people in the name of God, in other words we call them terrorists, so did this old man, sorry the ever-green man; with his belief in experimenting with his truths. He knew exactly in his heart what he was upto and splashed dust into the eyes of his devotees by his blasphemies of experiments.

Would you call a saint, a modern one of course given their attachments towards drugs and women and fame and last but not the least their names beginning with a sri? Sri in hindu religion refers to a respected one. I will answer this with a strict no. Then why respect Gandhi?

Tell me what did he achieve by making men and women of his ashram sleep together, and men and women who were not husbands and wives to bathe together? Was he a porno movie director?

Oh! He adored nudity, loved to watch those ripe mangoes beneath a wet white sari, dripping droplets of water from those wet black strands of hair, the little dew drops on that dusky skin, what could be more appealing to a man? To go deeper beneath the sari and grab a glimpse of the divine woman in the nude, of course in the name of experiment darling!

Lust not respect is what he had in his heart for several if not all women, otherwise he wouldn’t name them so openly, given the Indian conservative background and the sexual stains that would tarnish these women for decades and centuries to come.

He preached that it was the duty of every thoughtful Indian not to marry.

I ask why?

If marriage is so bad then my parents, their parents and their ancestors and your parents, your ancestors and gandhi’s parents and gandhi’s ancestors and gandhi’s children and their grandchildren are bloody thoughtless Indians who don’t understand their duty. But, what tamasha he did was an exalted form of duty-tarnishing his own name and respect, hurting the sentiments of some few million followers, tarnishing the names of these poor women who never knew Gandhi would reveal their identities in his writings.

I don’t understand what I would say to my son if he said that engaging with women and young girls would strengthen him spiritually and would help him in a national cause? What would you say as a parent? Or as a child if your father said the same thing to you? Better what would you say to your husband who believes in such delusions? I guess you’ll have to take him to the nearest well trained psychiatrist.

Buddha, the first master, left his wife, son, his royalty for spirituality. If he stayed in his huge palace in luxuries sleeping besides a beautiful wife, would he be able to attain the enlightenment that only he attained in his time, the world never had a second Buddha. He is hallowed and his teachings are followed with reverence worldwide.

I am not comparing anyone with Buddha. But as far as for me, I am ashamed and hurt after knowing all this about Gandhi.

What are we looking forward to with millions of Gandhi followers who read this book and then his own writings ?

Will they take these experiments of his to their hearts and start experimenting themselves on the Gandhian roads? If such is the case we are truly threatened, for I follow Gandhi, my family does and so many other men do.

Was Gandhi’s vision for an India – a “Perverted India” that had been turned on the bad road by Gandhi himself?

Image Source : Jad Adams Website
Bible quotes : Biblica

Urban India – Clutter / Chatter   Leave a comment

What I am about to write today is experienced by all of us.

I always keep on wondering why do all of us love nature? Why do we love the sight of lush green forests? Why do we love those mind refreshing waterfalls? Why are we so enchanted by the night sky? Remember how we gazed at the stars and the moon? How we love to immerse our feet in the sea, and how we love to take a dip in the lake? It’s just so amazing!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you noticed that in Urban India, there is chatter everywhere, people say they have no peace though they have all that a person could hope for. They have the food they like to eat, they can spend in that luxurious specialty restaurant, they go to the spa to feel rejuvenated and that special herbal message gives them the lift.

The clothes, they buy from the high street malls where the prices are jaw dropping exorbitant. They stay at their posh decorated apartments in the suburbs. They own the latest chauffeur driven SUVs, they just sit on the back seat, focusing on how their day will proceed, whom to meet, where to meet and the thought of grabbing that “multimillion deal” keeps their minds occupied.

They have several personal assistants from the lower strata to arrange that corporate lunch with their valuable clients. They keep asking God to give them more and more and they know the tricks to climb the hard corporate ladder.

They are their boss’s pets and the boss is completely lost when they are not around. They get those enviable salaries, plus all the perks plus their loans are paid by their companies, they are the asset of their organizations. They have the corner cabin and “they” are foreign returned executives who work hard and party harder.

They are proud to announce at any point of time that they are the target achievers and they work for a good fifteen hours, that’s quite above average, that’s why they are above average. They air-travel extensively to different metros to hold meetings. So they have well more than what they need. Yet they want more. Why are they so greedy?

On a recent trip to Mysore & nearby areas, I was so absorbed by the simplicity of these places and cuisine and the sandal wood fragrance.

I felt so close to myself and realized that things are better when they are simple and that is how all things are, we complicate them.

Actually I feel that when one gets the fragrance of those “stiff green notes” they begin to complicate themselves. How far have people gone for that extra money?

They have pushed themselves their abilities, sacrificed family time for those few zeros. What good are those zeros if they don’t give you the peace of mind ??

And I would like to add that people would do anything for those zeros-they murder, commit adultery, spread rumors, do all sorts of filthy things for that extra zero.

They simply don’t understand that with every extra zero they are adding an extra zero in their lives.

They like complicated life. They are so used to it that they barely want to change. They think that complication is normal.

On my travel, I had been to a very interesting place called Red hills. That place was surrounded by greenery and had eight lakes bordering it.

Those lakes had sky blue unpolluted waters, I could see the bed of the lake, it was so clear. Even at exact noon it didn’t feel like the sun’s scorching you.

Little children dressed modestly were playing with a football. It was breezy and there was a certain chill in the air. There were huge eucalyptus trees everywhere, maybe that’s why the air was so chilly.

The children waved at us when we were passing them. We got down of our car to grab the scenic beauty of this spot. I had never been so fortunate before, never visited a place so mystical before.

We had to climb the Red hills through the winding hats, and from the ghats the view was astonishing.

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On the slopes of the hills we saw several graves of the deceased who lived there. They were Christians. Such humility!

The children I met, ranged from 5-13 looked so happy, may be I was never as happy when I was their age. They looked fearless. I had a fear of exams, tuition, a scolding from parents, etc, etc.

Simple is truly defined this way…I saw women washing clothes outside their huts on the slopes of the hills. Some had their charcoal stoves outside their huts and they cooked there. The sight of a pot on those stoves with smoke emitting from them gave such a rural feel. I could hear a song being played on someone’s radio, the sound was remotely distinct.

I seldom got this opportunity to witness this sort of a silence that I witnessed being there. Silence was all they knew and was a part of their daily lives. No honking, no loud noises. Just the wind passing through the leaves and the chirping of the birds is all that they knew.

They had no clue where we came from, how complicated our lives were. All they did was wave and smile at us. One strange thing I noticed that, none of the village folks were wearing spectacles, none of them wearing hearing aids, none walking with a stick although many among them were old.

I guess none liked to sit idle in front of their “idiot boxes”. They were all active from children to the elders, all had physical work. And because, there are no much transportation, people prefer to walk and do their chores themselves.

I didn’t want to come back, I wanted to stay there for the eternity, but what to do?

Complication is what we urban people choose to quench our greed.

Greenery always brings peace to me, its soothing. It’s peaceful and the tranquil that it brings is unmatchable. I don’t have much greenery near our home, it’s all crowded with people from all different walks.

Everyone seems to be searching for their silent place of surrender. Let us be simple, let us be happy with what we have and let us thank the Almighty for his abundant blessings. Whenever I feel greedy I tell myself that God has given me as much as I can handle, so in good time and cause if God sees the necessity he will give me the ability to handle more and that’s when he will bless me with more.

Moreover our minds keep on thinking, dreaming, cursing, and harboring negative thoughts. That is the chatter that disturbs us.

For bringing peace into our lives, we need to quieten our loud mind. Take a break and look within ourselves for that simple person with lesser needs in us.

Posted May 14, 2010 by indupress in Indupress

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India’s Revolutionary Road   1 comment

Yesterday I was watching Revolutionary Road on HBO with my husband.

Revolutionary Road by *bene*.

What a soul-stirring movie! I call it soul-stirring because it created several emotions at the end of it.  At one point I felt blessed, the other point i felt upset as to why some marriages fail, where does all the love vanish, and what about the children in such marriages?

India being a developing country with its huge population has diverse cultures, every one being unique and I being a true Indian love each as it is without comparison with the other.

A couple of years back there was a transition with regards to the law structure regarding the couples in a live-in relationship as well as the homosexuality in India. These two things saw a further transition some time back.

With the increasing use of the net, people are getting online dates fixed for themselves and if all goes well they are all set to ring the wedding bells.

What I want to say is that although we have developed so much, still we are comfortable with the life partner that our parents choose for us. Well some of us disagree to that view, and would like to choose our life partners ourselves. whether it’s a love marriage or an arranged one, what are the secret ingredients that keep the marriage going on for years?

Back to the movie, the hero meets the heroine at a party and they “knew” that they were made for each other and they soon got tangled I mean married. I felt blessed for all of us who are happily married and felt sad for the ones who don’t see the happier side of marriage.

In our society, divorce is still a stigma, a western concept that doesn’t get long with the Indian concept of marriage.

So what exactly is the Indian concept of marriage?

Indian women value their Sindoor and their Mangalsutra more than their husbands like the wedding rings in the western countries. In the Indian system of marriage there is favouritism from centuries to the “ladka and the ladkewalas” (groom and his family). The woman and the woman side are expected to bow to the groom and his family.

In our country a man with many daughters is looked upon like a man with huge debts, no need to say that it’s just an Indian outlook – it still exists in every part of the country, be it urban or rural.

Women are looked down upon and are expected to sacrifice their food habits, likes and dislikes, their belief and even their confidence in the name of the sacred marriage. women in our society dread with the word “divorce”.

They are ready to go through hell to stay married, even if that means she’ll face marital rape every night by a drunken womanizing husband, she will still stay with him with a hope that some day, may be after her death he’ll change. Women not only in the lower strata of the society but also the independent ones go through emotional as well as physical “atyachaar” (abuse).

Also strangely, the males in our society are allowed to have several extra marital affairs but if a married woman even talks to the neighboring man, she is called a slut. Why such favoritism to males?

That’s why may be most of the Indian women don’t want daughters, they want sons so that the daughters don’t go through the same torture that they have been through. A woman unloved by her in-laws and husband seeks refuge in her parents, but in the long run she discovers that parents are not ready to support her emotionally because she is married and that after a woman is married her husband’s home is her real home.

There have been dowry deaths earlier, still happening in our huge Indian subcontinent, there have been honour killings, there have been “abetment to suicide“, but what happens in the end – a life that was so precious is lost.

Indian women portray the true woman spirit of endurance in insecurity. We are loyal, we are meek, we are accepting and we are happy and glad that our husbands return home, they feed us, hit us and rape us.

Still our pati is our parmeshwar (husband is lord).

What about the children in such marriages, they figure out some time by their teenage I suppose, that some thing is “irreplaceably” wrong with their parents, they don’t understand what they should do when papa and mamma are stuck in their fights and they are asked to stay in their rooms.

They are curious to know what all that furore is all about? They need to know why papa is scolding mamma and why is mamma crying so inconsolably. In the long run these children are sensitive emotionally and get carried away, even if some one is sweet to them.

They desperately search for love, but they find none, and end up in the wrong company. Why don’t so many Indian women think of these consequences when they decide to stay with a negative partner – are they willing to push their children to become insecure adults, who don’t believe in true love but sex and money and power?

Why don’t we break this stereotypical tradition? Why can’t we liberate our women?

In a country where woman is worshiped in the forms of Kali, Sarasvati, Durga and Lakshmi, in a country where you have women sports icon, astronomers, president and prime minister, in that same country are the women so tortured for they are the weaker sex.

So how we can compromise with the peace within just to wear that mangalsutra and that sindoor.? To give peace to your partner, first you should be at peace.

Why stay in a relation that gives you pain at all levels-physical as well as emotional? Rather break free and be peaceful. Why stay with a person who on the pretext of loving you abuses you, hurts you and blames all “mistakes” on you.

In every culture and across the globe marriage is meant to unite two hearts and make a bond for a life time. Marriage intends you to accepting each other, loving each other and building a trust so deep that not even death can do away with.

I feel that a couple needs to be honest to each other atleast when they are in a relation, keeping their pasts aside. Every couple needs to give time to each other to know each other and to be aware of the stress that each one is facing and to de-stress that stress you need to spend quality time watching movies together, going out, reading etc.

Marriage is for love, but not many understand this. People get married because their parents want them to get married, girls in the indian society should be married off before 25 or else they say she is too old and won’t get any prospective grooms.

When you understand that you are ready to be responsible and want to settle down, love and be loved then is the right time to get married.

It’s very important that you get married when you think you should rather than being pushed into a relationship whose dimensions and gravity you’ve never imagined.

Marriage is selfless, and you should be ready to accept that huge fact.

These are the secret ingredients that go into making a great marriage……

(Image Source : Flickr *bene*)

Posted May 3, 2010 by indupress in Indupress

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My spirituality   Leave a comment

Some weeks back, I was reading in Mumbai mirror, how Vivek Oberoi was disappointed like million other devotees of Nityanand Swami, that cheat. (Image : Mumbai Mirror)

So, I was not quite taken aback. For I feel to every human being there are two sides like a coin-the good and the bad. The good side lets you do the works of peace, kindness, gentleness, patience and other virtues. The bad side influences you with the help of external mediums to the things that would be completely contradicting the good side deeds.

So, Nityanand was following a Godly path, but got influenced by his evil side and had for a woman lust which no saint is supposed to have.

In the spiritual context the saints are known to address the elderly and the younger women as mother and daughter respectively. Who knows what all drama is hidden behind this sanctified saffron garb of a saint?

Now it has become difficult for the humble to distinguish the pious from the pervert.

Who then is the humble pious? Some one who doesn’t preach but practices, and through his practices he preaches.

These so called ash clad swamis are full of ego and are greedy like hungry sharks for discipleship, so that one can boast to the other, ”look I have more disciples than you and I have more ashrams than you do.” O misleaders, how the world is waiting to unfold your deeds done in the name of sacredness!

Another news in an earlier report in the same paper about some priests in Haryana. They molested young unmarried girls. Molestation is a crime. Then why should molesters be differentiated? Molesters are molesters. They are neither priests nor the roadside crook. They are molesters and look at every women barring their mother and sisters, with lustful intentions.

Some time back I read in the paper that the catholic church in kerala, had announced that one of its nuns had committed suicide. But later after a lot of probe it was thought to be murder. Though, Christianity is a minority in our country, nothing came out of this probe and as far as I have read no action was taken against any one, due to lack of evidence.

So the nun’s life was a waste or a holy sacrifice to hide the unholy deeds of the clergy? Who knows what lies behind the closed doors of the rooms that say, “No admission without permission.?”

Then a very controversial book by a nun, I neither remember the name nor the author of the book, was published in Malayalam, later translated to English. This controversial book created a furore in the catholic community countrywide, especially in Kerala, as this nun was from there and was addressing a church there. I didn’t read this book, but from what the papers said about this book, I remember the nun claiming how these priests and the higher authorities have physical relationships with the nuns, but consider themselves far superior to the common married man.

This is absolute hypocrisy. They say they are unmarried because they have vowed to be celibates till their last breaths. Sex in the name of celibacy? Aren’t these two words and deeds completely poles apart?

I would say that if you are tired of your celibacy, announce it to the world, stop fooling yourself and the world. When someone leaves the material world to be a Sanyasi as they say in our Hindu tradition, a ceremony is held, people are fed and the sacred saffron robe of a Sanyasi is given to the to be Sanyasi. This ceremony is just like the marriage ceremony. It’s big too. It also consists of reciting of holy mantras and shlokas, and the vow is taken. So all am saying is this that let the sanyasi who does not wish to be a sanyasi anymore, for reasons best known to him, announce to the world that he should not be looked as a sanyasi any longer and that he will surrender his robe and be a free man without vows of celibacy, sanctity etc.

There might be so many celibates across the globe, who have never wished to marry and still do not wish to. They don’t wear a saffron robe and go on preaching, they carry on their business. These numbers are microscopic. They must be leading a holy life too. Never slandering, never lying, never cheating, respecting their parents and doing what their respective religions call them to do. Doesn’t observing all these make them saints? Do preachy speeches make a person god-man? Are not deeds more powerful than words?

I can tell so many preachy chocolate coated motivational words but do I practice them when I am alone? Spirituality is a way of living, it’s how you live a holy life.

Terrorists think that they live a holy life, they call themselves “mujaheddin”. They want to kill people in the name of Allah, so that Allah is glorified. Allah loves his children alike. Why would Allah be happy to see his children dead? Simple? God is peaceful, calm, and healing not restless, destructive and “un-peaceful”. Why can’t we pray with busy minds? Because its through peace that God is attained not restlessness.

So I say whatever my opinion about spirituality be, it’s each one to his own. It’s their opinion.

Posted May 3, 2010 by indupress in Indupress

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