Are you Inquisitive or Jealous?   1 comment

In adults some times inquisitiveness highlights jealousy.

A child is so inquisitive about everything that’s around him, he is so enchanted by everything, it pulls your hair, plays with your lips, grabs your fingers, there is so much innocence in their inquisitiveness. a journey of life that’s just begun. Its mind tries to get familiar with everything through its inquisitiveness.

As I was growing up in my early teenage days I did not understand why students who excelled in exams ignored average or below average students?

Who taught them to ignore students studying with them ?

They were of the same age, in the same class, sometimes going to the same tuitions, going in the same school bus. I noticed a very peculiar behaviour among such students – they liked to boast about their marks in front of their “dumb” counterparts. But they never competed among themselves. Why was it so? I guess they thought they were all “equal”.

Inquisitiveness arose among them, and they kept asking their fellow students about their ranks and so on. So the dumb counter part never understood as to why these students were asking them about their marks, when they knew that they were not the students with greater memory skills. These skillful toppers were inquisitive to know their marks so as to give fuel to their burning desire to excel at the cost of making others feel terribly low. I was one of those average students, but I never felt comfortable to disclose my marks to the top rankers. they made fun of us and boasted.

If one even got a few more marks than the other, these toppers had a breakdown issue, right from that age, they became puffed up with pride, they even stopped speaking to other toppers if they got just 2 marks lesser than the other topper.

Why were such qualities like jealousy and pride present in the toppers ??

I never had the urge to excel as I was not exactly the studying type, though I understood the benefits of studying – first being that it feeds hungry stomachs.

As I grew and joined college, people were inquisitive to know whether the admission was with the help of a donation. If you are admitted with a donation you are dumb and they’ll call you a worthless candidate who doesn’t value their parent’s hard-earned money.

Why such judgements? Why compare?

To see whether you outstand the other or whether someone outstands you? So that if some one outstands you, you get consumed in self-pity, self-denial followed by jealousy. Then came the time when I started to feed my own stomach with the little bit that I earned, not that my parents didn’t want to feed me, but I just loved the idea of working while I studied and earning some pocket-money.

Independence was something I was eager to practice, since my college days.

At office too there were some irritating people, you have them everywhere. I call them cockroaches. These cockroaches loved gossips, and loved spreading rumors like diseases.

They don’t digest that someone performs better than them. They can’t stand some one getting a promotion. Cockroaches have a tendency to stay together like a swarm of bees so that they are consumed in their mission to hunt down the happy faces and incorporate a new rumor every time the old one dies.

Oh! and you should see their faces when someone throws a farewell party for a new job with a better package – they look like they had bitter gourds and vinegar all day. Their mouths start flowing with bitter words and they try to look happy but any kid can say how jealous they feel deep inside.

These cockroaches have another trait, they will talk you through to get the information they need to feel puffed or feel down, right from the bottom of your stomachs.

My husband is a very jovial, encouraging soul with no such negative virtues and is “dumb” at such mind games.

If some old colleague who is a “cockroach” happens to ask him about his job my husband readily answers without thinking whats the other man’s inquisitiveness. He had a colleague who left recently. He always got all the information needed with regards to tax saving policies, mutual funds, investments etc. but never ever did he disclose any of his ideas to save tax to any of his colleagues which includes my hubby too. He did not even tell his colleagues about his plans to leave the company till he one fine day just forwarded a mail to every one saying that he won’t be coming from the next day. According to me, such people will have no friends and won’t make any friends too.

One of my in-laws always asked me about my son, his weight, his height, his vaccination schedules. She got another relative to ask me about these things with the fear that I might understand what she was upto. When I asked her about her children she ignored my questions. She tried very hard to persuade herself as well as me and my other relatives that all her queries were borne out of concern, but deep inside I knew it was only inquisitiveness.

This particular relative was jealous of the fact that we were managing our kid alone and that everybody loved us and extended their support to us, while this relative was soaking in self-pride and anger.

Some people don’t like the idea of you being loved by so many people, that you have a pleasing personality makes them curse you. some people just don’t want you to move on ahead in life, they themselves don’t elevate and they don’t want others to elevate too, in all respects-financially, academically, emotionally. particularly such people stab you on your back, their words are honey-coated and they show so much concern, they want to know everything you are doing.

What we need to understand and ask ourselves sometimes when we want to know something about another person is that why do I want to know about him/her and how does that help me?

If there is some one who is inquisitive to know about you in order to learn from you, then it is essential that we help with all our hearts.


Posted May 3, 2010 by indupress in Indupress

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One response to “Are you Inquisitive or Jealous?

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  1. yes i work with some one who is so inquistive about my life and copies whatever i do.
    what is her intentions
    please reply

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